you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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