you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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