Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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