My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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