did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
