I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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