I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
