I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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