Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
