just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
