i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just threw up on my dentist
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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