this just has baby written all over it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
COCAINE IS GR8
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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