She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she peed on how many people?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
