He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
