he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
