we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
