I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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