I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
