I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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