This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
