brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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