Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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