ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
