So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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