You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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