ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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