The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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