He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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