I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
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I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
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the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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