just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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