Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
