Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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