Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
