Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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