I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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