i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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