do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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