...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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