I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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