He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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