I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
