I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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