Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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