Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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