i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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