I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
