the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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