just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
