Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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