she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
