Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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