tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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