I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
