I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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