It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
