I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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