We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
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You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
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Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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