I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
