RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
