fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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