I wish I could punch you in the face.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
