Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
