They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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